The ABCs of Gaining Independence from Addictive Behavior (i.e., drug abuse including alcohol & nicotine, eating disorders, compulsive gambling)
By: Rich Dowling, MA, NCC, MAC
"People are disturbed not by things but by their view of things" (Epictetus, Ancient Greek Philosopher) or, according to Dr. Albert Ellis, Modern Day Psychologist; people feel the way they think.
By learning to recognize and dispute (D) irrational beliefs (iBs) to which Rational-Emotive-Behavior Therapy (REBT) attributes much of the unnecessary upset or distress humans experience, an individual can with determined and persistent practice trade negative dysfunctional feelings and inappropriate behaviors for negative functional or positive feelings and appropriate behaviors:
RATIONAL- that which is: realistic, logical or practical. IRRATIONAL- that which is: unrealistic, illogical, or impractical.
Must and should beliefs can place unrealistic demands on self, others or the world, i.e., I must never fail; others should always treat me fairly; the world must always be the way I believe it should be. Suggested disputing statement: Where in the law of nature is it written that people, places or things should or must be the way I want? I prefer life be my way but I can't make it so.
Have to, can't, always and never beliefs are absolutist (all or nothing), giving the impression that there are no options, when usually there are many, i.e. I always screw up; I can't seem to do anything right; I have to drink, it's the only way I can deal with the difficulties of life. Suggested disputing statement: Is what I'm telling myself true? No, because I don't always screw up.
I can't stand it, I can't handle it, I can't deal with it beliefs are generally false statements because people usually can stand, handle or deal with it, although not necessarily in a very functional or comfortable way, i.e., I can't stand it when others tell me what to do ; I can't handle it anymore. Suggested disputing statement: The fact is I am handling it, standing it and dealing with it, but not in the best way I can.
Horrible, terrible, and awful beliefs are defined as worse than 100% bad which is impossible, i.e. It's terrible when I make a mistake ; It's awful when things don't go my way as they always should. Suggested disputing statement: Can anything be worse than 100% bad? No!
An individual's use of the above words and phrases can make things seem worse than they really are, thereby causing the individual to feel worse than he/she really has to, and/or behave in inappropriate ways. By using the following ABC formula, an individual can change the way she/he feels and behaves:
A = Activating event: any person, place or thing we experience.
B = iBs; irrational Beliefs about A: Life must always be fair, if not it's terrible and I can't stand it. I need a drink to ease the anger it makes me feel.
C = Consequence: negative dysfunctional feelings i.e. anger, depression, anxiety, inappropriate behavior i.e. dependence on drugs, including alcohol and nicotine.
D = Disputing the iBs can lead to ( rBs ) rational Beliefs i.e. Where is it written life must be fair?; I prefer to be treated fairly, but I can stand it when I'm not; I'm the one who chooses how I feel and act; Getting angry and intoxicated certainly doesn't help.
E = Effects of disputing: negative functional feelings i.e. annoyance rather than anger; sadness rather than depression; concern rather than anxiety or positive feelings i.e. happiness or contentment; appropriate behaviors i.e. independence from drugs, including alcohol and nicotine.
--------------------------------------------------------------- From the SMART Recovery Members' Manual Section III, Problem Solving www.smartrecovery.org ---------------------------------------------------------------
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